retrograde

i have come to the point now where i can just sense what is happening in the sky above me, or at least more specifically, when mercury goes retrograde. it is only the tinyest of things that makes me question this small planet's orientation.

i can see when the most innocuous statements uttered in a moment of thoughtless oblivion are contorted to mean, G_d-only-knows-what in the mind of the listener. just today when the furnace man came out to replace some small & yet tremendously over-priced circular plastic part, subsequent to his question of "does she bite?" & seeing the fear in his eyes.. i said to him "don't worry, i won't let the dog bite you." he looked at me as if insulted and said, "you won't LET her bite me?!" at which point i could not help but wonder, what did he mean? what could have possibly been offensive in what i said?

then later this evening when responding in writing to a blog post, i realized the vast potential to misconstrue my comments. i saw the potential for coming off cold and cerebral when the intention was to present a spark or a seed of relief, which can probably only be nurtured in the fertile soil of a receptive soul. the seed itself bears no emotion, but has the potential to grow into some flowering or fruit-bearing tree.

well, this is all what prompted me to check and see if mercury was retrograde because it just all had that certain feel to it. lo and behold the little planet started spinning backwards earlier this week! it seems after a point, one just comes to know what it feels like when communication does not flow in the expected direction.

even now i may be lax to write this during such a precarious time for communicating.. but then again, what is the spirit behind this change of direction for the planet that rules communication? here is an opportunity to move in another direction & to try something new from a different perspective.

so now i am noticing that when mercury is retrograde i have the opportunity to think differently about whatever it is that presents itself. i can try not to offend anyone, but it seems kinda inevitable that someone will take offense. at least i can be aware of the myriad of possibilities available with the new direction.

Migration - The other night. . .

Originally posted on Wednesday, 3 September 2003

i dreamed of a dragon
just as i was perched precariously on the edge of faith
a great fierce, firey dragon spirit came to visit me
and rested itself precariously in a tree outside my window
it was such a realization for me
that dragons are real
even if frightening at times..

great, black, scaley, fearsome creature
when i first saw it, it was asleep on a low lying tree limb
outside my house at home
i walked right past as he or she awakened
i couldn't believe my eyes as we exchanged glances
i went inside the house and everyone else seemed to know that the fearsome dragon came from time to time
just as its huge head filled the window
preparations were being made to deal with the event
then i awakened
feeling blessed. . .

Dream Migration

This is a reprint of a dream I had 2 months before I moved from Boston back home. Originally published Sunday, 28 September 2003, and entitled Sleeping Dogs

I finally understand the dream about the dog.

Monday night I dreamt I was at my house at home and my Mother is in the front of the house and I am in the back. I hear a screeching noise like someone is outside. The noise startles me and I tell my Mother, "I think someone is outside." She indicates that she didn't hear anything.

When I pass by the door I notice that there is someone there - policeman in a sheriff's uniform. Again, I tell my Mother that he's at the door. She comes and answers the door.

The sheriff says, "Is that your dog out there in the road?"

I am not aware that we have a dog so I am surprized when my Mother without hesitating answers, "Yes."

The officer goes on to describe the dog as, "...A black & brown dog with a long nose, curled up in the street.." I strain to see around the policeman, and it is rather dark out so it is hard for me to see. Eventually, I focus on a large dark lump lying in the street in front of the house.

I think to myself, "Oh, he was hit by a car." "He must be dead." "I wonder if we are responsible for removing him or if the city will do it?" "We will probably have to... before he starts to stink."

Just then I see a slight movement from the dog. I am surprized that he is still alive. In an instant another car whizzes by and strikes him again. He wimpers and rolls under the tires. As the car passes, I still see him writhing and wimpering in the street. I cringe at the sight & wish something would end his misery.

Then I wake up and the phone rings. It is about 9:40pm. Ange calls me. I tell her I just had a disturbing dream, but I don't go into details.

I question if the dog is my loyalty to myself or something else... but now it seems a clear karmic message from my subconscious. I am the dog and the cop and myself and my mother... even the cars that shoot out of the dark.

My only relief is to get out of the road and lay on the grass to heal.