today i am thankful for my health and my family and my friends and my work and my mind, and my potential and my opportunities and my dog and all my stuff and a car to drive and new ideas and fresh air and sunshine and green grass and blue skies and butterflies and hummingbirds and hawks, and dunhill cigarettes and 100% agave tequila and fresh lemonade and walkie talkies and reiki and chai tea and tai chi and aikido and hwa tahn bong and music and mp3 players and books to read sanskrit and NDSLs and computers and online communites and blogs and wikipedia and anything that makes me laugh and zippos and beautiful women and thoughtful words and jalapenos and riding mowers and all-in-one printers and translucent green boxes and to be continued and. . . more to come. . .
[thanksgiving day]
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
In joyful anticipation?
There she sat blithely on the edge of apprehension,
blowing her usual smokescreen out into the world
and feeling thankful for a warm body
to press against the cold morning air. . .
Sunday, November 18, 2007
struggle
wtf does this mean? and why am i compelled to write it?
flying blind thru faith
on the edge of reason
without a net
and with no regret
pouring my soul
into an unknown whole
and filling it up
my cup runneth over
and i drink
from being
both
here & there
being everywhere
growth
where unseen eyes
peer inside
and finally see
it is she
who is at the core
of my freedom
on the edge of reason
without a net
and with no regret
pouring my soul
into an unknown whole
and filling it up
my cup runneth over
and i drink
from being
both
here & there
being everywhere
growth
where unseen eyes
peer inside
and finally see
it is she
who is at the core
of my freedom
Saturday, November 17, 2007
gum
is this what i want?
sometimes i think to myself
still i await answers
gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • GUM • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • gum • shanti • shanti • shantihi
sometimes i think to myself
still i await answers
Thursday, November 15, 2007
om gum ganapatayei namaha
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
GotDammit!
Woke up thinking about work. . . WTF does it mean? What do I want to do? I dunno. Wish I did. Short sentences today. Gotta take LGM to St. Stephens. Why? Just took her to CHS Saturday. *sigh* Oh well, guess it doesn't matter. Sent off for PACE sh*t yesterday. :-/ Apparently, I only care about things while I'm doing them; then all interest just falls away. Is that normal? Who cares? WTF is normal anyway, and what's it got to do with me? Yes, I am questioning and answering myself this morning. Yikes! Sometimes I feel a bit panicky inside. *deep breath* Then it goes away. F*ck!F*ck!F*ck! Just free-flow thinking (or not) this morning. Gotdammit! *sigh* OK, am I angry about something? What? No. Just confused. Panicky. Crisis of Faith much? Damn! Gotta walk the dog. F*ck!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Insomnia?
What's with this not sleeping much? I have never been one to suffer from sleeplessness, and I'm not one to fret over it now. I have noticed over the past week or so a tendency to want to stay up all night. I guess this tends to happen when my life is in flux, so I guess it's a good thing. G_d knows I need a change.
Something new is on the horizon. *deep breath*
I am perched very precariously on this shaky ledge trying to get a clearer view.
Something new is on the horizon. *deep breath*
I am perched very precariously on this shaky ledge trying to get a clearer view.
Just Jacking Off - Migration
Originally posted on Thursday, 3 July 2003
*When in doubt.. Let Jack help you out..*
| Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me? - Jack Handey (aka Jack Handy) |
| I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people. - Jack Handey |
| I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me. - Jack Handey |
| There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves. - Jack Handey |
| Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail. - Jack Handey |
| If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone. - Jack Handey |
| I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching. - Jack Handey |
| If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now. - Jack Handey |
| I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money." - Jack Handey |
| If you get invited to your first orgy, don't just show up nude. That's a common mistake. You have to let nudity "happen." - Jack Handey |
| Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like. - Jack Handey |
We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town. - Jack Handey |
| I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend. - Jack Handey |
| I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. - Jack Handey |
Migration - The other night. . .
Originally posted on Wednesday, 3 September 2003
i dreamed of a dragon
just as i was perched precariously on the edge of faith
a great fierce, firey dragon spirit came to visit me
and rested itself precariously in a tree outside my window
it was such a realization for me
that dragons are real
even if frightening at times..
great, black, scaley, fearsome creature
when i first saw it, it was asleep on a low lying tree limb
outside my house at home
i walked right past as he or she awakened
i couldn't believe my eyes as we exchanged glances
i went inside the house and everyone else seemed to know that the fearsome dragon came from time to time
just as its huge head filled the window
preparations were being made to deal with the event
then i awakened
feeling blessed. . .
i dreamed of a dragon
just as i was perched precariously on the edge of faith
a great fierce, firey dragon spirit came to visit me
and rested itself precariously in a tree outside my window
it was such a realization for me
that dragons are real
even if frightening at times..
great, black, scaley, fearsome creature
when i first saw it, it was asleep on a low lying tree limb
outside my house at home
i walked right past as he or she awakened
i couldn't believe my eyes as we exchanged glances
i went inside the house and everyone else seemed to know that the fearsome dragon came from time to time
just as its huge head filled the window
preparations were being made to deal with the event
then i awakened
feeling blessed. . .
Free at last! - Migration
Originally published on Tuesday, 1 March 2005
The Random House Guide to Good Writing and others say that putting a preposition at the end of a sentence has been acceptable for many years. The rule originated from grammarians who thought it was elegant to apply the rules of Latin to the English language. The great statesman, Winston Churchill, summed it up nicely when he said it was the "sort of nonsense up with which I will not put."
The Random House Guide to Good Writing and others say that putting a preposition at the end of a sentence has been acceptable for many years. The rule originated from grammarians who thought it was elegant to apply the rules of Latin to the English language. The great statesman, Winston Churchill, summed it up nicely when he said it was the "sort of nonsense up with which I will not put."
Monday, November 12, 2007
Confused - Migration
Originally published on Wednesday, 5 November 2003
| ing | . . . | |||
you my dear | a confused person | |||
| are an idiot | makes a confused decision | |||
| confusion reigns | ||||
| Eitheror & Andor went out out on a date | ~ | ~ | ||
| Andor wuz there on time | ||||
| Neither showed up | Eitheror wuz late | |||
ToBe wuz there to be there | ||||
| Noone wuz happy |
Dream Migration
This is a reprint of a dream I had 2 months before I moved from Boston back home. Originally published Sunday, 28 September 2003, and entitled Sleeping Dogs
I finally understand the dream about the dog.
Monday night I dreamt I was at my house at home and my Mother is in the front of the house and I am in the back. I hear a screeching noise like someone is outside. The noise startles me and I tell my Mother, "I think someone is outside." She indicates that she didn't hear anything.
When I pass by the door I notice that there is someone there - policeman in a sheriff's uniform. Again, I tell my Mother that he's at the door. She comes and answers the door.
The sheriff says, "Is that your dog out there in the road?"
I am not aware that we have a dog so I am surprized when my Mother without hesitating answers, "Yes."
The officer goes on to describe the dog as, "...A black & brown dog with a long nose, curled up in the street.." I strain to see around the policeman, and it is rather dark out so it is hard for me to see. Eventually, I focus on a large dark lump lying in the street in front of the house.
I think to myself, "Oh, he was hit by a car." "He must be dead." "I wonder if we are responsible for removing him or if the city will do it?" "We will probably have to... before he starts to stink."
Just then I see a slight movement from the dog. I am surprized that he is still alive. In an instant another car whizzes by and strikes him again. He wimpers and rolls under the tires. As the car passes, I still see him writhing and wimpering in the street. I cringe at the sight & wish something would end his misery.
Then I wake up and the phone rings. It is about 9:40pm. Ange calls me. I tell her I just had a disturbing dream, but I don't go into details.
I question if the dog is my loyalty to myself or something else... but now it seems a clear karmic message from my subconscious. I am the dog and the cop and myself and my mother... even the cars that shoot out of the dark.
My only relief is to get out of the road and lay on the grass to heal.
I finally understand the dream about the dog.
Monday night I dreamt I was at my house at home and my Mother is in the front of the house and I am in the back. I hear a screeching noise like someone is outside. The noise startles me and I tell my Mother, "I think someone is outside." She indicates that she didn't hear anything.
When I pass by the door I notice that there is someone there - policeman in a sheriff's uniform. Again, I tell my Mother that he's at the door. She comes and answers the door.
The sheriff says, "Is that your dog out there in the road?"
I am not aware that we have a dog so I am surprized when my Mother without hesitating answers, "Yes."
The officer goes on to describe the dog as, "...A black & brown dog with a long nose, curled up in the street.." I strain to see around the policeman, and it is rather dark out so it is hard for me to see. Eventually, I focus on a large dark lump lying in the street in front of the house.
I think to myself, "Oh, he was hit by a car." "He must be dead." "I wonder if we are responsible for removing him or if the city will do it?" "We will probably have to... before he starts to stink."
Just then I see a slight movement from the dog. I am surprized that he is still alive. In an instant another car whizzes by and strikes him again. He wimpers and rolls under the tires. As the car passes, I still see him writhing and wimpering in the street. I cringe at the sight & wish something would end his misery.
Then I wake up and the phone rings. It is about 9:40pm. Ange calls me. I tell her I just had a disturbing dream, but I don't go into details.
I question if the dog is my loyalty to myself or something else... but now it seems a clear karmic message from my subconscious. I am the dog and the cop and myself and my mother... even the cars that shoot out of the dark.
My only relief is to get out of the road and lay on the grass to heal.
Airing Dirty Laundry
Originally published Saturday, 26 July 2003
i feel wrung-out like a wet rag
would you take my soul too?
and what happens when a wet rag is left to dry in the sun?
twisted & deformed
full of new wrinkles
i thought this was the start of a new life
is this how new life feels?
tight & stiff
uncomfortable?
i could go anywhere
do anything
erase it all and start over
decide to start over from here
take what i want and leave the rest
like picking fruit from a tree..
Nearer My G_d to Thee
revelling in reverie..
opening my eyes to see
being where i am to be..
wash
rinse
and lay flat to dry
i feel wrung-out like a wet rag
would you take my soul too?
and what happens when a wet rag is left to dry in the sun?
twisted & deformed
full of new wrinkles
i thought this was the start of a new life
is this how new life feels?
tight & stiff
uncomfortable?
i could go anywhere
do anything
erase it all and start over
decide to start over from here
take what i want and leave the rest
like picking fruit from a tree..
Nearer My G_d to Thee
revelling in reverie..
opening my eyes to see
being where i am to be..
wash
rinse
and lay flat to dry
3rd Migration - Brief Ode to the Moon
Originally published Tuesday, 1 July 2003
the moon is an infinitesimal particle |
me me me me me me |
2nd Migration - First Familiar
Originally published Saturday, 1 January 2005
Sadness
now
my former lover
pulls me into her and
floods my heart with tears
warm and wet
her kiss consumes
me
1st Migration - Totalled
Originally published Saturday, 4 October 2003 - (written circa 1999):
Totalled
my luv came barreling
down the highway
at the speed of sound
she hit me like a semi
and i was totalled
strewn about the road
as she left the scene
now my ghost walks
this red road
littered with wreckage
in search of my
still beating heart
beyond recognition
i feel it
pinned 2 her grille
my luv came barreling
down the highway
at the speed of sound
she hit me like a semi
and i was totalled
strewn about the road
as she left the scene
now my ghost walks
this red road
littered with wreckage
in search of my
still beating heart
beyond recognition
i feel it
pinned 2 her grille
On Purpose
The purpose of this blog is to migrate my old blog from blog-city here because blog-city has informed me that they will be getting rid of all free blogs after Dec 2007.
Now, I just have to figure out how to import all the rss files I DLed from blog-city. . . Sure would be nice if I could import the whole thing with the push of a button or something. At any rate this is a place to park all the random bullsh*t and bad poetry that pollutes my mind from time to time. :-)
I'll really be fuct if blogspot decides to pull the same sh*t as blog-city. Hmm.
Now, I just have to figure out how to import all the rss files I DLed from blog-city. . . Sure would be nice if I could import the whole thing with the push of a button or something. At any rate this is a place to park all the random bullsh*t and bad poetry that pollutes my mind from time to time. :-)
I'll really be fuct if blogspot decides to pull the same sh*t as blog-city. Hmm.
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